A world of regret.

Tuesday March 11th I got a phone call from my husband while I was at work that broke my heart. He had just gotten a phone call from his sister letting him know his mother had passed away sometime that day. Corrine had called her a coupe times that day and couldn't get threw, so finally called the landlord to get her in and found her in her room. She ended up having a heart attack and complete respiratory failure. It seemed so unreal and like my world was all of a sudden in this strange bubble. I drove home in tears and had so many feelings of regret. Why did I not get to now this wonderful women better. Why did I not try harder to have a better relationship with her. We definitely where to very different people. I have always loved her and has always seen the sweet innocence in this women, but I know in my heart I did not open myself up to her, I did not fully welcome her into my life just because we didn't have anything in common. As we are preparing for the funeral I am filled with sorrow as I did not know this beautiful mother to my husband and grandmother to my children as well as I should have. Some wonderful things I did know about Vicki

- she loved her children and grandchildren more then anything.

- she loved reading her scriptures and tried her best to understand and live the gospel.

- she was definitely a girls girl. Pink, jewellery, nails, she loved her girlie things.

- she loved cats, she had a cat "phantom" who lived for I think 18 years or something crazy like that. It was a hard day when Phantom died.

- she loved her diet coke 

- Mark and Corrine have been cleaning out her apartment a bit and she kept everything. Especially notes and letters. Corrine had found a note that she had written to her mom in high school thanking her for the shorts she had boughten for her for gym class.

- She loved watching the news and always had a story to tell me or Mark about the world when we called or visited. 

- she was the sweetest most innocent women I have ever meet. 

As tears fill my eyes as I write this blog post I realize I loved this women even more then I thought. It saddens me so much to think in my time here on earth I will never see her again, never hug her again, it truly doesn't feel real yet. I hope I can live my life better, and be righteous enough to live with her again some day.