HAPPY THEN SAD

So at 6:00 in the morning on Oct 6th I woke up went to the bathroom peed on a pregnancy stick and two minutes later found out I was pregnant for the first time in my life. YAY! best news ever, right. Sadly though two weeks ago I had my first ultrasound I was 8 weeks pregnant and the Doctor told me the baby was only 6 weeks. I had to wait until monday to here from my OBGYN what was going on. She told me there was a tare in the placenta and the baby probably stopped growing, she ordered blood work and another Ultrasound just to confirm it 100% but we pretty much knew what the outcome was. We took each day one at a time still holding on to any ounce of hope we had. Finally thought this Wednesday morning I started spotting and knew the inevitable had finally happened. Later that night the bleeding got so heavy I had to go to emergency, we checked in at 9:30 pm on wednesday and at 9:00 am on Thursday we finally saw the OBGYN she ordered an ultrasound to see if all the tissue had passed or not. She said probably not because I was still bleeding so heavily. We waited and waited and waited and finally at 3:00 pm on Thursday my OBGYN came up and said not all the tissue has passed and we need to do a D&C. My face was as pail as a ghost and she asked the nurses if I had still been bleeding heavily throughout the day, they said yes, and she got very upset asking why she was not informed of this ( I would hate to be those Nurses after everything is all said and done I am sure they got a pretty good lecture). They sent me away for the surgery and an hour later I was awake and told I could go home once I started feeling up to it. I lost so much blood that if the doctor had not finally come up when she did they would have probably had to do a blood transfusion. So bed rest for 48 hours and lots of fluids and hopefully by tomorrow I will be back to feeling physically like my old self. I know emotionally though this will take some time for Mark and I to heal but we are optimistic that if we have finally gotten pregnant it can happen again and hopefully everything will go well next time. Thanks again to all the support and prayers from family and friends and we again are optimistic that in a year or two we will be able to welcome our first child into this world.
love
kalinda

A TRUE FRIEND!!!

There are no words of thanks that you can say to a friend when they go out of there way to help you at a time of lose and tragedy. But how do you even begin to thank numerous friends that come together to make you feel better, again there are no words. I have often wondered what it takes to be a true friend to somebody, well know I now. You are there for them no matter what, you take time out of your busy schedule to send them flowers or a meal or a gift or a phone call or a night out on the town just so they can stop thinking about what is going on in there life. You put your life on hold for hours, days because you know your friend is hurting and you want to do everything you can to make that hurt go away. You hold onto there deepest secrets that they had to tell you because they trusted you and only you, and mostly you love them unconditionally no matter what. I am so grateful and blessed that I have so many TRUE FRIENDS in my life, more then I thought, that love me and will do anything for me. This world is becoming so corrupt and evil and I began to think that friendship isn't even a real word anymore, as we see friends cheat with friends spouses, even sisters and brothers with spouses, share secrets that were asked to be kept secrets, I have even heard of friends stealing money from friends, or worse killing one another over money or relationship. I guess the term friend is being used to losely. From now on when I call someone my friend I am going to think is this person really my friend or are they just an acquaintance, would I do anything for this person, do I hope only good things for this person, or are they someone I just say hello to when I see them. I think it is healthy to separate your friends from your acquaintances that was one reason I got rid of my facebook account to many people I did not even know that knew everything about me, it is also a reason I am making my blog private. The whole world does not need to know what is going on in my life just my friends and family (which are also my friends). This post is starting to get to long but I just wanted to say to all of my friends who got me through this week thank you, and to those friends that do not know what is happening I will let you know in my next post and I know you would have done the same thing even if you are far away I know a letter, e-mail or flowers would have been sent to me, and I thank you all for your love and support.

Kalinda