Getting Better!!!

It's been almost three months since I told the world about my Post Pardom Depression. Things have only been uphill since then. It is hard when you miscarry at such an early stage cause you haven't even told anybody yet. So you are going through this big turmoil thing and doing it all alone for the most part. Because for some reason telling people is such a bad thing, people shouldn't even know you miscarried and people shouldn't even know you are pregnant until the second trimester. The hardest part was I just wanted to shout it at the top of my lungs that I miscarried. I had all these amazing friends texting for play dates and girl nights and I just wanted to lie in my bed with a heating pad, a bowl of popcorn and Netflix. But I couldn't cause I had kids depending on me, work, my calling at church, friends and even a husband. I think the Depression came on for lots of reasons. 1. not being in as good of health as I had been the past 6 years, 2. the build up of changes going on in my life that year, from moving, husband starting a new job where he was away and my parents getting divorced. and 3rd not getting time to grieve and just have a couple days to be sad. Plus having to still

hold it all together on the outside so nobody knew I was falling apart. I really noticed things started to get better when Mark took the kids to Glenwood in August and I had 9 days to myself to finally think, pray, write, exercise and cry. Then the biggest help was finally telling others. The support and love I felt was incredible. I know we say that we live in this terrible world with so much hate, and maybe there was some people secretly judging me for having Depression and then worse sharing it with everybody, but I haven't felt any of that, I have only felt love and kindness. Support and encouragement. The therapist I have been seeing has really helped me work through my thoughts and getting back into doing my favourite things from reading more, exercising more, playing with those adorable kids of mine and taking some time for myself, which doesn't include work. To end I just wanted to say Thank You to so many of you for your help and support. And if there is anybody else out there struggling with anything, talk to someone about it, a friend, a therapist, family you will find someon to help you or like me lots of people.