Not Going to Sugar Coat It!!

A couple weeks ago in church we had a lesson on facing trials and challenges. Our Young Womens President Sylvia Franklin gave a comment on how as a society we are not as close to our friends and family as we use to be, and how we have less and less friends then we use to because of social media. She said how this article she read pointed out that on social media websites we only post good pictures of ourselves, only talk about the raises we have gotten or the better jobs, the bigger houses we have bought, the new fancy vehicle we are driving,  how wonderful our children are. Pretty much to sum it up how perfectly wonderful our lives our, and how everybody needs to be jealous of it. Because of these everybody is endlessly comparing themselves to everybody else, which when we do this it makes it hard to make true friends and grow our friendships within our families.  Such an interesting point and something that I had never thought about before, but it makes total sense. So with that in mind instead of posting a blog posts of a cute picture of my son and say how much I love him I am going to be real and raw about our life with Wade so far. It started out wonderful, we love him, he is handsome and adorable and wonderful to snuggle with. However thing after thing keeps creeping up on us with him. First having to stop breast feeding, although he is not projectile vomiting anymore he still spits up all day everyday. Then not wanting to sleep in his bed leaving night after night of not getting good sleeps. Once we fixed that the real stress came on, NEVER wanting to be put down. Unless he is sleeping he needs to be held 24/7. I never knew this could even be a stress with a baby. His cry is so loud and so deafening to our ears that it is almost impossible to let him fuss it out. He always looks like he is in so much pain and agony. It is hard to see smiles on his face, always this look of mom I don't feel good. I have never been so confused with my feelings. I love this little man so much and ache that he is in so much pain, but it is to the point now where even if he is not crying I can still hear his screams ringing in my ears. This past week in particular has been rough. Macie has had a wierd little stomach flu, we have been so busy with callings, vemma, Mark's work and trying to get ready for Christmas and you realize how it is impossible to get those things done with a child screaming at the top of his lungs all day, or having to hold him and then you really can't get them done. I actually feel the worst for Macie she is being so neglected and I hate that, we have such a wonderful relationship and have so much fun together and I hate that I have not got to spend any quality time with her this week. She plays by herself, or watches a show (which I hate more then anything), or is in my face (which I can't blame her )but add a screaming baby as well and I am about ready to go mad. I am hoping that this just turns out to be one of the worst honeymoon stages ever and things can settle down eventually. The only thing that gets me through it all right now is prayers to my Savior, and my amazing husband. I didn't want to write this so everybody could feel bad for me, it is life and we will get through it and when it is all said and done it will be an experience that hopefully only made me a better person and mine and Mark's relationship even stronger. I just wanted to mostly write it for memory sake, when we look back and see how we grew from this and how small of a challenge this was compared to what we will face in the future and like I said to not sugar coat it, to not show off to everyone that life is perfect because right now it definitely is not.