Nov 8, 2012

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Throughout my whole entire life every relationship I have had with someone weather it be a brother a sister a friend or my husband I feel that love has been Conditional. There needs to be work there in order for it to grow and blossom. If the work is not being put in the love is not there. There are times when you have feelings of love that are stronger then other times.  I love my family and my husband so much and could never imagine not loving them, however I can see where in some relationships that love fades. If both individuals are not putting in the sacrifices and efforts it takes to make a relationship work it is very hard to hold that relationship together. It must be so hard for some individuals whose marriages have ended in divorce knowing they gave there all but there spouse was not, which eventually ended the love they had for each other or even one for the other and ended the marriage. I have been so lucky to be blessed with wonderful parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends and most importantly a husband who love me for me and all my faults and weaknesses.  When Mark and I first meet Mark knew there was going to be something between us he didn't know what but he knew he would see me again. I never felt that until later when we started hanging out, about a month into being friends I knew there was something there, that this boy was special and he had a special purpose in my life. It took Mark about 6 months of us hanging out all the time to realize those feelings he felt that day when we first meet were the start of feelings of love. We both found our love for each other but it definitely happened at different paces. Mark and I have this amazing love for one another, but there is no question we have to work at it. We have so much in common and are so much a like but have two very strong personalities and two very different ways of being raised. Which means when we are not sacrificing for one another and working together there are definitely vocal levels raised a little louder then they should and sometimes words said that are not meant. Again why I see this love as Conditional, which I think is the best for a marriage. I think if we had unconditional love in a marriage it wouldn't be fun, it wouldn't be exciting, it would be boring and routine, and there is no questions our marriage is stronger because we know we are both putting in the effort and even though we don't have to be together we want to be together. We want to do whatever it takes to always have each other to hold (chessey I know sorry, but true).  I love that this is the way love is in a marriage and I wouldn't want it any other way.  The moment they placed my daughter in my arms though, I experienced this new kind of love this Unconditional Love. How I could love someone so fast and so quickly still seams crazy to me at times. It is definitely the kind of love needed though between a mother and her child. I think what is most amazing though is how both loves can grow stronger and stronger everyday. Even though Unconditional love is instant and I know lasts forever my love for this little girl keeps growing and growing and growing. Sometimes after I put my sweet little girl to bed I literally skip up the stairs to my bedroom hop into bed and lie there for 15 minutes with a huge smile on my face and just think about how much I love her and how happy she makes me. Last night in particular was one of those moments, and then as my husband made a funny noise I started thinking about him and how much I love him and how even though I love them both in different ways I love them both the same. It then made me think about my Heavenly Father (ah see there is a purpose for this long dragging on post), and how he has the most perfect unconditional love for us, his children. I couldn't help but tear up and thank him for loving me in the way I know I love my daughter. knowing that no matter what mistakes I make, no matter what faults I have he will ALWAYS LOVE me. I thought about all the trials and challenges I have been threw and am going to go threw, I thought about times he does not answer my prayers the way I want them answered and then I realize later on why that is, and how there are times in Macie's life  I don't give her what she wants or what she thinks she needs and how hopefully in her future she will realize why. It truly was one of the most beautiful moments I have experienced in life last night understanding how my Heavenly Father loves me.

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