I thought I knew what stress was....

When you don't have the money in your account to pay a bill, or you put on 5 pounds, or the house is a total mess and company is coming over, my wedding day, final exams, giving birth, moving, when Mark had no job for almost a month when we were first married, Macie getting her first fever, thinking Molly was going to go blind when her eye looked like it popped out of her head. So many other things come to mind of times in my life when I have been stressed, but none pale in comparison to this past 6 days, and especially today. The direct quote from the Pharmacists today was this is such potent medicine we give it to cancer patients to take. My heart about sunk when I heard those words, but what else is a Doctor to do when your daughter has not held down any food for 6 days and has gone 24 hours without a wet diaper. Other prescribe this medicine or put an IV in her. I still can't decide which route we should have taken, especially when Mark and I have to hold her head, hands and body down to get the medicine and pedialyte down my stubborn girls throat. So hopefully soon after many many prayers, a priesthood blessing, this medicine and a couple total and complete meltdowns from her mother this whole big stressful mess will be done and over with. If not next time you see me I may have no hair and have other lost 10 lbs or gained 20.


Side Note: Ahh the joys of being a first time mother, I am sure many of you mothers of many are giggling in your head right now remembering the first time your first kid got really sick and it stressed you out, and now it is like ahh yes another kid is sick again whats new.

Another Side Note: I love my little munchkin but moments like this definitely have me wishing she was more closer to the 100th percentile in weight then the 5th percentile in weight.

LAST GETAWAY!!!

In two weeks I go back to work, yikes that went by way to fast. Life will slow down and speed up all at the same time. No doubt our life at home will be busier but the outings and traveling will definitely slow down. So we decided to have one last small vacation before that.

Thursday we traveled to Ponoka to see Mom and Dad Dudley. We chumbed  around Friday and waited for Brock and Chelsey and there kids to arrive, we had an awesome dinner, then sent the kids to bed so the adults could play some games and munch on more yummy food. Then we headed out nice and early Saturday for a day at the West Edmonton Mall Waterpark. It was definitely the highlight of the trip. It was a blast and the new waterslide there is to die for amazing fun. I felt like a kid again. A huge thanks to Mom and Dad for watching Macie for us in the kid pool so Mark and I could feel like kids again. Macie was adorable and of course loved every minute of it, and why wouldn't she, she loves swimming. The little munchkin lasted over 4 hours in the swimming pool and I kid you not besides the odd snack break was in the water the whole time having a blast, she especially loved going down the slide. When we were done swimming we headed to Red Robin's for dinner and Macie fell asleep as she hadn't napped all day and slept in my arms for a good 20 minutes at the restaurant, this has never happened before that is how much Grandma and Grandpa wore her out. Sunday we chumbed around some more and ate of course more food and played a lot of card games. Such a great weekend with family, it was nice to have the fun moments and the lazy moments.

loved Macie's face in this picture

probably played at this station for almost 2 hours in total

was obsessed with this keyboard all weekend, and was being so cute dancing to the music.

Paytin is obsessed with Molly and Lily.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Throughout my whole entire life every relationship I have had with someone weather it be a brother a sister a friend or my husband I feel that love has been Conditional. There needs to be work there in order for it to grow and blossom. If the work is not being put in the love is not there. There are times when you have feelings of love that are stronger then other times.  I love my family and my husband so much and could never imagine not loving them, however I can see where in some relationships that love fades. If both individuals are not putting in the sacrifices and efforts it takes to make a relationship work it is very hard to hold that relationship together. It must be so hard for some individuals whose marriages have ended in divorce knowing they gave there all but there spouse was not, which eventually ended the love they had for each other or even one for the other and ended the marriage. I have been so lucky to be blessed with wonderful parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends and most importantly a husband who love me for me and all my faults and weaknesses.  When Mark and I first meet Mark knew there was going to be something between us he didn't know what but he knew he would see me again. I never felt that until later when we started hanging out, about a month into being friends I knew there was something there, that this boy was special and he had a special purpose in my life. It took Mark about 6 months of us hanging out all the time to realize those feelings he felt that day when we first meet were the start of feelings of love. We both found our love for each other but it definitely happened at different paces. Mark and I have this amazing love for one another, but there is no question we have to work at it. We have so much in common and are so much a like but have two very strong personalities and two very different ways of being raised. Which means when we are not sacrificing for one another and working together there are definitely vocal levels raised a little louder then they should and sometimes words said that are not meant. Again why I see this love as Conditional, which I think is the best for a marriage. I think if we had unconditional love in a marriage it wouldn't be fun, it wouldn't be exciting, it would be boring and routine, and there is no questions our marriage is stronger because we know we are both putting in the effort and even though we don't have to be together we want to be together. We want to do whatever it takes to always have each other to hold (chessey I know sorry, but true).  I love that this is the way love is in a marriage and I wouldn't want it any other way.  The moment they placed my daughter in my arms though, I experienced this new kind of love this Unconditional Love. How I could love someone so fast and so quickly still seams crazy to me at times. It is definitely the kind of love needed though between a mother and her child. I think what is most amazing though is how both loves can grow stronger and stronger everyday. Even though Unconditional love is instant and I know lasts forever my love for this little girl keeps growing and growing and growing. Sometimes after I put my sweet little girl to bed I literally skip up the stairs to my bedroom hop into bed and lie there for 15 minutes with a huge smile on my face and just think about how much I love her and how happy she makes me. Last night in particular was one of those moments, and then as my husband made a funny noise I started thinking about him and how much I love him and how even though I love them both in different ways I love them both the same. It then made me think about my Heavenly Father (ah see there is a purpose for this long dragging on post), and how he has the most perfect unconditional love for us, his children. I couldn't help but tear up and thank him for loving me in the way I know I love my daughter. knowing that no matter what mistakes I make, no matter what faults I have he will ALWAYS LOVE me. I thought about all the trials and challenges I have been threw and am going to go threw, I thought about times he does not answer my prayers the way I want them answered and then I realize later on why that is, and how there are times in Macie's life  I don't give her what she wants or what she thinks she needs and how hopefully in her future she will realize why. It truly was one of the most beautiful moments I have experienced in life last night understanding how my Heavenly Father loves me.

WINTER FIRSTS

CHEAP FUN!!'

I have never been a huge fan of Mcdonald's food, however I am now a HUGE fan of there Play Centre. Once again it was another cold day in Lloydminster -5 with a windchill of probably -10. Boo for cold winter days so early. So with a little girl that can't just sit at home to be content we have had to get creative in finding fun places to take Macie that don't cost an arm and a leg. Thankfully Lloydminster has lots of great programs for parents with little ones. We go swimming at noon for $2 $4 if both Mark and I can go probably twice a week, the common wealth center puts up a bounce house and some toys between 10 and 2 mon-fri and it is free so we try and hit that up once a week. The library is free, so we definitely go there once a week to pick out new books and now we have found another place to have adventures. The McDonald's play Center. It is huge and has two good slides and lots of things for Macie to climb, and if you go at the perfect time (10:00) there is no other kids playing in there which means room for Macie to play play play. I am just grateful McDonald's has added some better items to there menu. Get a fruit smoothie for $3 and Macie gets an awesome play center to run around in for an hour, once again cheap fun. dah dah dah dah dah I'm Lovin It!!