Drive Me Crazy

There are some things in my life that are driving me absolutely crazy, so I thought maybe if I just write about them and get them off my chest I can grow up, move on and see how silly I am for getting so worked up over these things. So here is the list...

1. My Hair, I hate the way the hairdresser cut it, it looks awful, nothing like what I asked for, plus I also hate this stage it is in off falling out non-stop, when I brush it it is a knotted disaster no matter how much I condition, to sum it up I Hate my Hair. It was like this after Macie as well, it wasn't until she was about 8 months old before it started feeling normal again.

2. The Weather, I am so cabin fever it is not even funny, I never realized how hard it was going to be to get out of the house with a newborn.

3. Sick kids, Macie has been sick for about two months now with a cold/fever, It will go away for a week and then come back for 10 days, then go away for a week then come back for 10 days. It is really hard to establish routines in life when you constintely have to reschedule your life due to a sick kid.

4. These extra 15 lbs I can not lose, which brings me to another point, that nothing fits me. I have one pair of jeans, two pairs of leggings and 4 shirts that I can wear. I love my wardrobe and I want it back so bad. The weight just fell off with Macie but with Wade I lost the first 30 lbs so quickly it was crazy but these last 15 to 20 lbs will not go away. It is not even so much about being skinny I just really want more clothes to wear, and don't wanna spend the money to go and buy new ones.

5. That I am so mixed up with my feelings right now. I have gone back to work two days a week for those that don't know yet. I love it but my feelings are all over the place right now. I want the best of both worlds but know it can't happen. I want to be a stay at home mom, but I also want a full time optical career. I seriously change my mind on an hourly basis.

6. One of Wade's cry. He has this one really soft deep raspy cry that I actually love it when he does it, not that I don't try and comfort him so it stops but I love holding him and having him cry that wonderful sound in my ear, but there is this one cry he does that makes you want to ripe your hair out, literally. It is so loud it is unbelievable. You honestly would think the child is being tortured. I get so grumpy and angry so quickly with everybody when we starts crying that way.

Well there she be my big whiny list of annoyences, know I just need to find a way to suck it up and move on with life and be happy for what I have and start to look more at the positives in life and all the good that is happening. 

GLORIOUSLY WONDERFUL DAY!!!

 I don't think today could have been any better. Mark is away all week this week and each day I wake up and wonder how I am going to get through today, plus another 3 days on top of that being all by myself, Well I was proven wrong today. An amazing friend offered to watch Wade today and so I took full advantage of that. I feel I hardly ever get good quality one on one time with Macie anymore and I hate that, so I planned a day full of things we used to do before Wade. First we started by heading to the pet store and checking out the bunnies, puppies, and fish. She is so cute at the pet store and loved the kisses she was getting from the bulldog pup. Next we came home had a quick snack and game of hide and seek and then headed to the pool for some swimming. It is only $2 from 12-1. Macie's favorite thing to do today was jumping off the side into the pool, she did it about 20 times in a row. Then we headed home and had some lunch, sang Let it Go from "Frozen" about 100 times, did some coloring and then headed back to pick up Wade. Macie was so good and it was so nice to have some one on one time with her. After I picked up Wade I headed to Motion Fitness for a good 7KM run and a bit of muscle toning while the kids went to the daycare there. I just have to say genius of these fitness facilities to start putting child care in for mom's. I go almost everyday for 2 hours and it is so nice to get that break and a chance to de-stress. Then we came home had some supper, played with Play Dough and got some great snuggles from Wade. At 7:15 I was getting ready to make a bottle for Macie when I realized I had no Milk. Great I thought, Macie is exhausted and know I have to lug two kids in and out of walmart for some stupid Milk. At the very end of our quick trip Macie was being so good that I told her we could go and get a cookie from McDonald's and that is when the sweet lady beside me paid for our cookies, Seriously could my day have gotten any better, yet it could snuggles, books and bottles with Macie and she fell asleep in about 2 seconds. Wade has also been a dream the whole night, didn't make a peep at walmart and made cute silly noises on the floor as I read books to Macie. I am so grateful for my amazing day and all the people in my life who helped make it amazing.

29.50

Tonight my sweet hubby let me get out of the house for a work out as me and Macie have been stuck inside all week sicker then dogs. I was finally feeling better today and desperately wanted to go work out, so I headed out after Macie went to bed. I got on the treadmill and couldn't believe how much energy I had for how sick I had been all week. What happened next was awesome, every 5 minutes I kept going faster and faster and it felt incredible. After 29 minutes and 50 seconds I completed 5 KM's. It was awesome and I couldn't believe I did it in under 30 minutes. 3 weeks ago I ran my first 5KM's in over a year and it took me 35 minutes so I thought it would be quit a while before I could do it in under 30 minutes, but I proved myself wrong tonight. It is incredible how are bodies remember the movements and how quickly the muscles come back. My goal is in 6 weeks to run a 5K in under 27 minutes and run 7 Miles just over 11 KM's in one hour. I'll keep you posted on my progress.

CRUMBLING

Do you ever feel like your life is pointless, useless senseless. That you are going no where in life and accomplishing nothing. You have no friends and no life. You are just a fluff from a dandelion, of no worth and no use, and the one task you have been given in life you are so terrible at that you felt if your children got to choose again they would pick a different mother. Every day is the same thing get up, feed children, clean house,  yell at children, clean up puke, yell at children some more, feed children, clean house,  clean up puke, yell at children.  Just this same everyday routine of nonsense. Ugh how do you get out of that rut, how do you find Joy in doing the same boring things day in and day out. I don't mean that my children don't bring me Joy, they bring me more happiness and Joy then I can imagine, however the same boring stuff day in and day out is driving me crazy. Maybe it is just those winter blues talking, I hope it is just those winter blues talking. Maybe I should stop now before I say more and people think even that much less of me.

A series of unfortunate events!!!

It started last week when Macie got a small little cut on her eye, nothing serious but still annoying enough that it irritated her for a couple of days, then Friday my hubby headed to North Batteford for some snowboarding, I got the phone call at 8:30pm. "Umm kalinda this is Billy, Mark has been in an accident. He caught an edge while snowboarding and went down super hard knocking him out. The damages were some temporary memory lose a bad concussion and a smashed in face. His body is just finally starting to not be soar anymore. Then to top it off yesterday while me and my mom where at Motion Fitness working out Lily got her nail caught in something, we think the baby gate and ripped it almost fully out. When we got home I saw her limping and knew something was up, when my mom picked her up she saw blood. She would barley even let us touch it. So we took her to the Vet to get it checked and the poor little puppy had almost ripped the nail right out. They had to put her under and take the rest of it off and do some stitching and bandaging. She is now on lite duty and some antibiotics until everything heels. Although it was a rough week for my family, I know it could have been way worse and so grateful that we were being watched over.

My Little Buddy!!!

While I haven't lied at how difficult these past 2 1/2 months have been with Wade, however I need to give some credit where credit is due.

- He is a phenominal sleeper, already sleeping through the night on average 9 to 10 hrs, this past week he has been getting up but I think that is just from a growth spurt. Even though he has gotten up this past week it was only once and right back to sleep for another 6 hrs.

- He has the best smile ever, Mark calls it a mupppet smile. He just opens his mouth so wide and gets so into it.

- He loves to snuggle and gives the best snuggles even when he is not sleeping he loves to snuggle into mom and dads chest

- Even though his cry is loud and happening a little more then I would like, it sounds really cool. He has such a deep raspy voice. When he is not losing his mind I actually don't mind listening to it.

- He is such a Handsome little Dude and I love showing this handsome dude off.

Thanks so much to my awesome friend Jen for taking these adorable pictures of Wade

Sunday cuties

A 2 Year Old....

Well my two year old..

- Is one of the bravest kids I know, she has no fear when it comes to doing anything. Some of my favorite moments have been going down the Lloydminster water slide all by herself and going sledding down the hill in Ponoka all by herself.

- There is no question she is a strong willed kid. She doesn't have any problems giving us attitude and making sure we know what she wants and when she is upset with us.

- Is saying so many words it is crazy, she can say anything we say, and her sentences are coming along nicely. Some of my favorite words and sentences are... gong show, OK, Gampo and Papo (Grandma and Grandpa), Oange (Orange) Come on Daddy, Please Thank you your welcome all said at the same time.

- I don't think I can say it enough, but this girl LOVES swimming

- My Little Munchkin weighs about 24 lbs

- She is great at sharing food and it depends on the situation and the person weather or not she decides to share her toys.

- She wants to make lots and lots of friends but struggles a bit with kids her age as she is so loud and in your face, she gets along best with kids a couple of years older then her.

- She loves to sing especially Popcorn popping, Once there was a snowman, Wheels on the Bus, I am a Child of God, and My Little Pony

- I am sad to admit but she loves her shows. We try and stick to no more then a couple a week but since having Wade there has been almost one a day. I will admit it is nice for when we travel she is so good and just watches shows. Some of her favorites have been,  Finding Nemo, The Lion King, 101 Dalmations, The Jungle Book, Tangled (my favorite to watch with her) and My Little Pony

- She got her colors really fast especially yellow and blue, she is also really good at orange, pink, purple, white and black. Red, Green, Brown and grey are a sturggle for her but when she really focuses she can get any color when she doesn't almost every color is Yellow.

- Has been a great big sister to Wade and is so patient with all his crying, and the amount of time mommy has to give him.

- Is almost ready to be done with naps, we only nap her about 3 times a week

- Has one of the best laughs and smiles ever, although she almost always refuses to smile for a camera she melts hearts with that smile of hers

- Still has crazy blonde hair, I love curling it for her on Sundays, she looks so adorable.

- She definitely loves her play time, especially when mom and dad get right in there with her.

- Next to playing she really loves painting, playdough, and stickers.

- Is still my picky eater and I am trying my hardest to be patient with her, but it gets hard some days. It blows my mind how she can eat next to nothing some days and still function and such a high level.

- What else to say, so much. This girl is incredible and I love her to death she knows exactly what to do to make me smile. Her hugs and kisses are the best and even when she is giving attitude she is still fun.

Life changes

This year has a couple big milestones for me. My 30th birthday and our 10 year anniversary. Before we had kids it would have been a huge event with a good chunk of money spent. A two week vacation, someplace hot and some big gifts. The wordly joys we got to experience while being a double income family with no kids, I can't lie were awesome. However they were all short term gratifications. This morning as I was playing dress up with Macie and snuggling with Wade it brought me such peace knowing the joy and love I was feeling towards my kids was eternal. The vacations, nice clothes and toys, although they were fun will do nothing for us in the hereafter. I have so many goals for this new year, but the most important is to focus on being a good mother and nurture my children in the gospel and make sure they feel my love. That my children are getting my full attention. I do feel it is still important for me to have time for me and do some things I love, like workout, read, and dates with my hubby. However when I am with them I am with them and not focusing on 100 other things, just them. It has been interesting since I cut some stresses out of my life how already my relationship with Wade has gotten better. I am so blessed to have such beautiful children and thankful to my Heavenly Father for giving me the gift of motherhood. 

The Wood Cutters

This last weekend,October 12,Shawn Trainer, Jeff Jeanotte and I went up to Tuliby lake to cut some wood. The weather was perfect. Nice fall day to be in the woods. In conversations with one of the land owners, we were told about an awesome pile of spruce that was all piled up beside the road. All we had to do is cut it and split it. How nice and easy could it be? Two trees, two chainsaws, two pickups, one axe, and three hours later we had all the wood we could handle. It was a fun time with the boys, playing with our manly toys. In the end, we didn't need all that wood so we decided to donate it to a family in our Branch. That was a good feeling as the family members came out and thanked us for all the fire wood. I haven't done something that gratifying in along time. I don't know the extend to which they needed it, but it can help them heat their house this winter and save some money. I am grateful for opportunities to serve, it truly brings me closer to God.